Are you an awkward person? Because I am. I'm a totally super mega awkward person. Give me a social situation that normal people would be completely fine with and I will screw up in some way. However, I feel like as I age and mature (lol) I've learnt a few ways to pull yourself out of the pit of embarrassment or how to avoid it altogether without becoming a recluse.
I'm still finding new and interesting ways to awk out all the time, believe me, but these are the ones I've had enough practice with to provide a little wisdom on...
People traffic
You know that moment when you're walking towards someone and you do that little dancey dance about which way you both are going to go? I bloody hate that. But a while ago I read a bit of advice that said when you can see this happening, instead of looking down or at the person, look at the direction you're going to walk in and stick to it. The other person will be so shocked by the certainty (it's so not British) that they'll fall in line and the whole sitch will be avoided.
Name forgetting
This literally seems so rude, especially when it happens to you, but more often than not its not that the person is a huge twat it's usually just a slip of the brain (is that a saying?) Having been on both ends of it, the worst thing you could do is guess. I know you're 93% sure her name is Suzy, but if it's not you're going to feel even worst, as is Suzy, who's actual name is Sharon. Just be honest and self-deprecating, like "god, you're going to kill me, your name has completely slipped my mind" *awkward laugh* *hits self on forehead*
You've fallen over
Mate, I can't tell you how many times I've stacked it. Once I was in a club when I was 21 in my nice (OK, short) dress and heels and I stacked it on the lit up dance floor and grabbed a random guy on the way down only to profusely blame him for the fall. On this very same night the front of one of my open toed shoes tore so my toes literally broke free, I was a hobbling mess by the end of the night. Luckily my friend Tee came home slightly early with me. Anyway, I digress, if you stack it in public the best way to avoid embarrassment is to coat the whole thing in humour. If you're with someone when they ask if you're ok just laugh it off, because they probably want to laugh anyway so it makes it less awkward for everyone. If you're alone, while you're on the floor catch the eye of a passerby and do the same thing. I swear it works, unless you're actually truly injured in which case, flag down some help?
The awkward greeting
One kiss? Or two? Or a hug? Or a handshake? Or all of the above in a unknown greeting ritual? I hate the uncertainty I feel when greeting acquaintances! The worst is when you felt like one kiss is enough but they go for two and are hanging there. Or when you both go for the same side and end up almost planting on one their lips... ahhhh I hate it. To avoid this sitch I go for a hug as often as possible. Now some etiquette books will say this is too much contact but how is it more intimate than kissing someone... Twice? you want to go in and stick to it. Trust me this actually works.
No comments
Post a Comment